


Bibleman, Bob, and Body of Christ

by battle_llama



Category: Bibleman, Christianity - Fandom, Religion - Fandom, The Bible, Veggie Tales
Genre: Christianity, M/M, Multi, NSFW, Religion, Smut, The fanfic no one asked for, Vore, animated fruit, for the athiests brainwashed with these shows as kids, improper use of tomatoes, prepare for your brain to be unwashed, the second and third coming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-17
Updated: 2018-05-17
Packaged: 2019-05-08 02:34:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14684625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/battle_llama/pseuds/battle_llama
Summary: Bibleman has strayed from his path, but Bob the Tomato comes unto (and into) him. Bibleman must eat the Body of Christ in order to repent and be reborn. His Sword of the Spirit guides him to righteousness and much-a gay encounter. This is very NSFW and could be offensive. Read at your own risk.





	Bibleman, Bob, and Body of Christ

**Author's Note:**

> For all you sinners. Yeah, I see you. GOD sees you... Enjoy. (Warning: don't eat tomatoes while reading, don't read if you're an uptight Christian, and don't read if you're under 18)

It was Bibleman's tenth attempt to overdose on communion wine that week. However, in his psychosomatic haze, he didn't realize it was only stale grape juice. Bibleman hadn't felt the warm embrace of the Lord in weeks, a flaw Bibleman attributed to various made-up ailments of his own. Bibleman had cut his ties to his alter ego, Miles Peterson, and wore his super-suit as a kind of security blanket. The suit made him feel strong when his mortal body suffered imaginary bouts of plague. He hadn't washed it for the majority of the Lord's absence, so the aroma it emitted was akin to rotting food.

Bibleman had taken to sleeping in odd places, feeling as though he wasn't worthy of having a permanent home. That night, he had stumbled into an abandoned house, not wanting to bother the gutter rats two nights in a row. He curled up on the stained white carpet of the empty living room and wept for his Creator. "Please, God, acknowledge me. Give me a sign!"

He fell asleep with betrayal and repentance in his heart, but for what, he did not know.

 

In the morning, Bibleman made his way to the empty house's kitchen, rummaging for alcohol in any form he could get his costumed hands on. Heck, he'd settle for germX at that point. As he opened the fridge, his eyes aligned with what he would have assumed was decaying vegetables, but he knew he was wrong. No, tomatoes are fruit.

The tomato before him sat still, its plumpness slightly browned and deflated from being left there for who knows how many days. Crisp, feathery mold dotted one spot, and when Bibleman blinked to get a better look, the white mold did the same. _The moldy bits are his eyes_ , Bibleman thought hesitantly,  _and this must be the sign I asked for!_

"If you like to talk to tomatoes," the juicy boy in the fridge began to mutter, his tone bright despite being half-mush, "then I'm your mate. Care for a taste? I don't bite, but feel free to do it yourself, handsome."

"Did the Lord send you?" Bibleman fell to his knees, the tomato now directly in front of him.

"Baby, if that's what you wanna believe," the tomato winked, wisps of mold fluttering to the shelf below him, "then I can be the whatever you like."

Bibleman shook, his Sword reacting to the tomato's words in a way he was far too familiar. Only one man could get that response from him, so Bibleman knew, this was the real deal. "Wh-what's your name then?"

"Bob," he cooed, "but right now? You can call me your savory slave if you'd like." 

Bibleman didn't have to be told twice. He reached for Bob with his right hand and lowered his trousers with the other.  _Is it gay if it's a fruit?_ He didn't care. All he wanted,  _needed_ , was the feel of that animate thing's juices mingling with his.

Bob gasped as Bibleman stuck his thumb into the soft skin of his mouth, stretching him to his maximum, getting him wide enough for what was to happen. Bob's mouth was now gaping, waiting for Bibleman to fill him as his pre-juices beaded down his lips in anticipation.

While Bibleman stroked himself, he held Bob tightly in his fist, gripping the last thing the world would allow him. Once he was at full length, grasping for any breath he could hold, he lowered Bob to his hips. The lil tomato whimpered at the size of the middle aged man, knowing well that the events would quickly end his life.

"What are you waiting fo-," Bob ended with a startled cry that ended in a moan as Bibleman took him with one swift thrust.

Bibleman fell forward, his forehead leaning on the fridge for support. His fist moved with an increasing pace, the shameful squishing sound of fruit on flesh only making him burn hotter. He wanted to feel bad, to have something to feel sorry for, so he could repent and make amends with himself and his Lord.

Despite being in a home he didn't live in, he was not at all conservative with the volume of his pleasure. As Bob's lustful moans transitioned to muffled cries for help, Bibleman rammed harder, breaking through the other side of the mushy fruit.

"Oh, God," Bibleman bit back a curse as his cock pulsed, finally mixing his own seed with the seed of the plant. "B-bob?"

No response.

"Bob!" Bibleman shouted rather loudly, and to his horror, he heard the jingle of keys and the turn of a doorknob. He got to his feet, member still in hand, and closed the fridge. He tried to think quickly, and the best he could come up with was hiding in the pantry. The window he'd entered was too close to the front door.

"What was that sound?" He heard a voice as the front door opened. "Is someone here?"

The sound of two footsteps made their way to the bedrooms, so Bibleman had to think fast. There was no way he'd make it to the door unnoticed, and he had to do something with the mess in his right fist.

He swallowed a groan and lifted what was left of Bob to his lips. There was no time for apologies as he let his tongue run over the rancid fruit, guiding him into his mouth. He relaxed his throat and took him whole, licking his fingers and hand where their juices ran. He tucked himself back into his trousers and wiped his hands on a towel he found nearby. He'd have to play this cool, he knew. He was Bibleman! He was always showing up in odd places, if only he'd use that to his advantage, he could leave without any repercussions.

"This house harbors Doubt!" Bibleman said loud enough to make his presence known. Things would go back to normal now, he knew. "Or at least, it did."

 


End file.
